Tips for Contacting

Are you perhaps having difficulties approaching others? Even if not, the following practical tips are quite useful and can be implemented immediately. Have fun with contacting!

Even though our goal is for you to be able to spontaneously approach other people and make new contacts, it doesn't hurt to prepare yourself. Perhaps this is also a topic you still have difficulties with. Therefore, here are some basic things about the topic of "Contact". Because even if you want to spontaneously take a little bike ride, you should at least be able to ride a bike.

Clothing

Choose clothing that suits you and highlights your strengths particularly well. Especially in your free time, make sure that the clothing is comfortable and that you feel good in it. Your colleagues and conversation partners pay attention to your appearance! It gives the first hints about what kind of person you are. It doesn't matter how you really are, but mostly only, what prejudices and opinions the other person has about people with your appearance.

Starting a Conversation

Those who are well-informed about current events and have background knowledge will find it easier to find a conversation starter later. Therefore, inform yourself through newspapers, magazines or television about current events, movies, theater, books, or other political and cultural topics. Collect jokes and other stories.

This should not be misunderstood – you don't have to know a lot, just have something to talk about! It can be completely sufficient if you are well-versed in a topic, perhaps your hobby, like John Wayne in his pocket. As long as you can excite your counterpart with this topic, you don't need to have more topics ready.

However, people are completely different, and you will not always encounter people who immediately show interest in your specialty. Be versatile, and you can reach many more people! Men – and I include myself here – talk far too often about themselves. That is, of course, also a specialty, but not every conversation partner will be enthusiastic about it!

Nevertheless, you should be a master at telling small stories or anecdotes from your own life.

Nonverbal Signals

Contact begins nonverbally! You have already learned that we convey the vast majority of our messages with our bodies. Be sure to consider this when meeting new people! Sometimes there are contact situations where it is completely indifferent what you say with your words – what matters is what you say with your body!

If you start a contact without having previously made contact with the other person's body, then you have it much harder. You are constantly communicating with your body anyway. These are the messages that your counterpart instinctively believes more! Pay attention to what signals you are sending. In what way does your body reflect your attitude?

Eye Contact

Make eye contact with the other person before you start talking. This signals attention and interest to your counterpart. Even during the conversation, you should keep looking at the other person from time to time. Pay attention to whether you maintain longer eye contact when you or the other person is speaking.

Vary the duration of eye contact, the opening of the eyes, blinking, pupil dilation in front of the mirror, and note the effects of these changes on your facial expression. However, avoid staring at the other person with a fixed gaze when contacting.

facial expressions

Facial expressions are the most expressive part of our body. They can reveal all feelings, but are often used by many people as a mask and thus lose their liveliness. Stand in front of a mirror and let your face express the feelings of anger, happiness, surprise, disgust, contempt, interest, sadness, and fear. What do you change?

Raise your eyebrows, widen your pupils, scrunch your nose! If you have read the chapter on physiology and changing states attentively, then you know, that you can influence your mood by changing your facial expressions.

Smiling

Smile – it will open the hearts of those around you! In many studies, it has been shown again and again that smiling people are perceived as more attractive. Moreover, a smile influences your well-being.

In the first few seconds, the smile still feels insecure and forced to us, then our feelings really change. This is the powerful effect of the "fake it till you make it" principle. When you change your facial muscles to a smile, your body releases happiness hormones. Use this knowledge during a first contact.

Smile in a way that your eyes shine and the smile comes from within. Not a wide grin, but rather a mysterious, slightly cheeky smirk. Practice this smile at home in front of the mirror!