NLP Email Training 47

Quote

We do not need to continue living as we did yesterday. Let us free ourselves from this view, and a thousand possibilities invite us to a new life.

Christian Morgenstern

Ecology Check

A true NLP practitioner is very careful in their change work with themselves and others. They always consider possible consequences of their actions in both positive and negative aspects in advance. We can learn a lot from this approach, which we call the Ecology Check.

Exercise for This Week

Examine your goals and behaviors in the future for their impact on other contexts and systems, such as your family, your colleagues, your workplace, your company, politics, and your environment. Ask yourself:

• What impact does this or that behavior have on the mentioned contexts?
• What are the positive impacts?
• What could happen in the worst case?
• How could I address this?

Feel free to delve into these answers. If your project is very important, then these questions are too.

Example

A woman came to me for coaching and wanted to become very self-confident because she would be changing careers in the near future and would have to give lectures to larger audiences more frequently. I asked her about unpleasant consequences if she were to give up her existence as a 'gray mouse' and live confidently and purposefully in the future.

'Nothing!' was the answer, 'that would only be good...' I probed further, but she could only think of the advantages of the behavior and no disadvantages. So we made the change – and it worked. Four weeks later, I had a new client: her husband! He simply couldn't cope with his 'new' wife anymore. He had married a gray mouse, not a self-confident businesswoman.

If you have already thought through the weaknesses of a plan in advance, you can still modify the plan or you are simply warned and can ensure it doesn't happen.

For your Ecology Check, it can be very useful to view your goal or behavior from different perceptual positions (I – You – Meta, see Lesson 35: Position 1-2-3). Another possibility for an Eco-Check is to pay attention to incongruences. An incongruence occurs when two areas of a person, e.g., words and body language, are not consistent. Incongruences are signals for internal objections from a conscious or unconscious part. An Ecology Check aims to bring these objections to light, acknowledge, and utilize them. This principle is beautifully illustrated in the so-called Six-Step Reframing clearly.

Supplementary links

Text:

Ecology >>>
The term 'Ecology Check' is explained in more detail in this text link.

Metaphor of the Week
A king had two sons

A king had two sons. As he grew old, he wanted to appoint one of them as his successor. He gathered the wise men of his land and summoned his two sons. He gave each five silver coins and said, 'You shall fill the hall in our castle by evening with this money. With what, that is your concern.' The wise men nodded: 'That is a good task.'

The eldest son went off and passed a field where workers were harvesting and pressing sugarcane. The squeezed sugarcane lay around uselessly. 'This is a good opportunity,' he thought, 'to fill my father's hall with this stuff.' He made an agreement with the overseer, and by late afternoon, the threshed sugarcane was brought into the hall. 'I have fulfilled your task,' he proudly told his father. 'You don't need to wait for my brother anymore. Make me your successor.' But the father replied, 'It is not yet evening. I will wait.'

Soon after, the younger son came. He asked for the sugarcane to be removed from the hall – and so it was done. Then he placed a candle in the middle of the hall and lit it. Its glow filled the hall to the last corner.

The father said, 'You shall be my successor. Your brother spent five silver coins to fill the hall with useless stuff. You didn't even need a silver coin and filled it with light. You filled it with what people really need.'

Book Recommendation

Growing with Children. NLP in Everyday Life
Author: Daniela Blickhan

Short Description:
This book describes how adults can use the possibilities and basic assumptions of NLP in their everyday life with children. It is not only a reading and workbook for parents but also for grandparents, educators, teachers, and everyone who lives and works with children. The book offers ideas, exercises, and application aids to take new paths with children – away from stress, conflict, and tension and towards fun, joy, and mutual understanding.

This is not about psychotherapy with children, but a preventive approach: What can adults do to prevent disturbances in children from taking hold in the first place? How can they support the children and themselves in the common goal of growing together?

Here the book can be ordered: Now at Amazon

General information

Archive
We have created an archive with past lessons and links. There you will also find this lesson again as a webpage in HTML. There are always some email programs that display strange characters and do not receive clean emails in either our text or HTML format. Use the online archive to read the lessons in this case. Use the archive also if you are quickly looking for a link, have lost one of the previous lessons, or have not received a lesson. HERE is the archive of past lessons.

Further NLP seminars
Of course, we also offer real seminars with personal encounters. This starts with our free NLP evening seminars in various cities in Germany and goes up to entire twenty-day trainings: Practitioner, Master, Trainer, and Coach.

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You are receiving this email because you or a friend of yours ordered it directly from me. If you no longer wish to receive the email training, please use the link provided at the top above the logo to unsubscribe. There you can also change your email address.

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Stephan Landsiedel