NLP Email Training 19

Quote

“What we call luck is the meeting of preparation and opportunity.”
Anthony Robbins

Meta-Model Part (1)

In the last lesson, we dealt with well-known questioning techniques. This lesson is also about questions. Our topic this time is some meta-model patterns. The meta-model of language provides us with many very good questions to recognize and question distortions in the language and map of other people. It helps us gather information, give others more clarity about themselves, and often serves as a small intervention, for example, when it comes to dissolving beliefs and limiting assumptions. Formulate your own question for the following patterns and think of three more examples for each type.

a) Question generalizations such as “never, always, none, everyone, all.”
Example sentence: “Everything always goes wrong for me?”
Question: “Does everything really go wrong for you? Is there nothing that hasn't gone wrong for you? Was there no situation where you did something right?”
Training sentences: “No one loves me. Everyone is against me. I always block myself.”

b) Question words like “must,” “should,” and “may.”
Example sentence: “I may not show weakness?”
Question: “What would happen if you did show weakness once?”
Training sentences: “I must finally grow up.” “We must not give in now.” “You should not praise the day before the evening.”

c) Comparisons where it is not said what the comparison refers to.
Example sentence: “He is better.”
Question: “In what way is he better?”
Training sentences: “The other team is simply faster.” “He simply has more.” “This task is easier.”

Exercise for This Week

Do this exercise best with a partner. Imagine you are a salesperson in a bicycle shop and they are the customer. The customer wants to buy a bicycle from you. Try to find out, using the questioning techniques presented (or those you know otherwise), which bicycle the customer, i.e., your partner, wants. It's best to use a sheet of paper for this. Try to get by with as few questions as possible!

If you have a sales, consulting, or employee conversation coming up, you can of course try it out directly there!

Supplementary links

Audio:
Meta-Model »»»
Here you will find a short audio introduction to the meta-model of language.

Metaphor of the Week

The Glass Sarcophagus
An oriental king had an enchanting wife whom he loved above all else. Whenever he had time, he sought her company. One day the wife died, leaving the king in great sorrow. “Never,” he exclaimed, “will I part from my beloved young wife.”

In a glass sarcophagus, he laid his wife in the largest hall of the palace and placed his bed next to it, so as not to be separated from her for a minute. But it was a hot summer, and despite the coolness of the palace, the woman's body slowly began to decay. Her lovely face began to discolor and became more swollen day by day. The king, in his love, did not see this. Soon the sweet smell of decay filled the entire room, and none of the servants dared to even stick their nose in.

The king himself, with a heavy heart, took his bed and carried it into the neighboring room. Although all the windows were wide open, the smell of transience followed him. All the servants and friends fled. Then the king lost consciousness. The hakim, the doctor, had him brought into the large garden of the palace. When the king awoke, a fresh breeze blew over him. The scent of roses caressed his senses. It seemed to him as if his great love still lived. After a few days, life returned to the king. He gazed thoughtfully into the blossom of a rose, and suddenly he remembered how beautiful his wife had been in life. He picked the rose, placed it on the sarcophagus, and ordered his servants to commit the body to the earth.

Notes:
When we cling to the beloved, it makes us sick – we poison ourselves. If we carry the beautiful, the valuable, the good memories within us like a rose, deep in our hearts, as a gift, then we are rich and can grow.

Book Recommendation

Meta-language and Psychotherapy. The Structure of Magic
Authors: Richard Bandler & John Grinder

Short Description:
This book is really not easy to read. The language is often peppered with technical terms, and you need some patience to be truly fascinated by the work.
However, it is a historically significant book – the first book by Bandler and Grinder and thus also the first NLP book ever.
The focus of the book is the meta-model of language. This is developed and the questioning possibilities are discussed with many examples. The authors do not want to develop a new therapy direction with this volume (later it became one), but rather to make the linguistic skills of some well-known therapists understandable and learnable.

Here the book can be ordered: Now at Amazon

General information

Archive
We have created a Archive with the past lessons and links created. There you will also find this lesson again as a webpage in HTML. There are always some email programs that display strange characters and do not receive clean emails in either our text or HTML format. Use the online archive to read the lessons in this case. Use the archive also if you are quickly searching for a link, have lost one of the previous lessons, or have not received a lesson.

Further NLP seminars
Of course, we also offer real seminars with personal encounters. This starts with our free NLP evening seminars in various cities in Germany and extends to entire twenty-day trainings: Practitioner, Master, Trainer and Coach. Further information at:.

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Stephan Landsiedel