NLP Email Training 18

Quote

“The quality of our questions determines the quality of the answers we receive.”

Questioning Techniques

In the following lessons, we will deal with various questioning techniques. This lesson is intended to build on what is already known and serves as an introduction. Surely you have already experienced that questions are a crucial prerequisite for the success of a conversation. During the initial contact, your counterpart does not know what they can offer you. And you do not know what your counterpart wants. Therefore, you must ask. If you ask the right questions, you will also receive the desired answers from your conversation partner. However, beware of the interrogation style. If your conversation partner feels like they are sitting across from you, a 100-watt light bulb shining on them, and they have to answer uncomfortable questions, you will certainly not achieve the desired goal. Approach the matter casually. If you know exactly what you want and have a clear structure in your mind, an open communication with a question-answer exchange will automatically develop.

You are surely already familiar with various questioning techniques. Below are some of them briefly summarized again:

Open Questions
The open question often begins with: what - why - how - when. An open question allows for various possible answers and can be, for example: What did you have for lunch today?

Closed Questions
Here, the answer is usually yes or no. The closed question is used to obtain preliminary and/or additional information.
Example: Is this your bicycle?

Alternative Questions
The alternative question helps the interlocutor make a decision.
Example: Do you want to shop today or rather tomorrow?

Information Questions
The information question is often associated with a benefit for the conversation partner, e.g., To optimally advise you...

Suggestive Questions
The goal of the suggestive question is to learn opinions and needs. The answer is suggested in advance, e.g.: You surely want a solution to your problem, don't you?

Why Questions
Avoid asking “why?” too often, especially in critical conversations. Just as there are a thousand answers to a thousand WHYs, there is no answer to the one why. And neither leads to a good feeling or conversation. If you want to ask about the causes of an incident, use the following “softer,” more objective formulations:
What do you attribute that to?
For what reasons?

Exercise for This Week

Do this exercise best with a partner. Imagine you are a salesperson in a bicycle shop and they are the customer. The customer wants to buy a bicycle from you. Try to find out, using the questioning techniques presented (or those you know otherwise), which bicycle the customer, i.e., your partner, wants. It's best to use a sheet of paper for this. Try to get by with as few questions as possible!

If you have a sales, consulting, or employee conversation coming up, you can of course try it out directly there!

Metaphor of the Week

The Instruction
Whenever a new student came to the master to learn from him, the master would sit down on the floor with him and ask him a few questions. “Do you know who the only person is who will never leave you in your entire life?” he asked the newcomer.
“No master, who is it?”
“You.”
“And do you know the answer to every question that will ever occur to you?” the master continued.
“No, I don't know. What is it?”
“You.”
“And can you guess the solution to all your problems?” the master asked lastly.
“No master, I give up.”
“You.”

Book Recommendation

The Magic of Questioning
Authors: Klaus Grochowiak & Stefan Heiligtag

Short Description:
This comprehensive work is dedicated to the art of questioning in therapeutic and communicative contexts. On over 500 pages, the authors show why there are no “innocent” questions and how targeted questioning techniques influence thinking, emotions, and change processes.

In addition to a theoretical introduction, the book offers numerous practical examples that illustrate different therapeutic approaches and their application in everyday life. An indispensable reference work for coaches, therapists, and anyone who wants to understand and shape communication at the highest level.

The book can be ordered here.

General information

Archive
We have created a Archive with the past lessons and links created. There you will also find this lesson again as a webpage in HTML. There are always some email programs that display strange characters and do not receive clean emails in either our text or HTML format. Use the online archive to read the lessons in this case. Use the archive also if you are quickly searching for a link, have lost one of the previous lessons, or have not received a lesson.

Further NLP seminars
Of course, we also offer real seminars with personal encounters. This starts with our free NLP evening seminars in various cities in Germany and extends to entire twenty-day trainings: Practitioner, Master, Trainer and Coach. Further information at:.

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You are receiving this email because you or a friend of yours ordered it directly from me. If you no longer wish to receive the email training, please use the link provided at the top above the logo to unsubscribe. There you can also change your email address.

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Stephan Landsiedel