NLP Email Training 06

Quote

“The funny thing about life is: If you insist on getting only the best, you often get it.”

W. Somerset Maugham

Pacing Part (1)

Our topic over the last few weeks has been perception.

In the exercises of the past weeks, you have calibrated yourself to your counterpart. You have perceived their body language and the tonal qualities of their voice and learned to associate them with inner emotional states. With this, you are ready to take another big step forward:

Pacing means adjusting to the conversation partner, building a bridge to them, creating sympathy, getting on the same wavelength, meeting them at their level, diving into their world model, giving them the feeling of 'I am like you – and you can trust me.' Like attracts like is a popular saying. Based on commonalities, friendships and partnerships arise. This feeling of unconscious connection is what we call rapport in NLP terminology.

It is the prerequisite for any deep human contact. We need rapport in a sales conversation with a customer just as much as in a partnership with the person who means the most to us.

Exercise for this week

a) Think about who your friends and partners are and where you met them. Perhaps because of commonalities?

b) Today, listen attentively to your conversation partners and find something in every statement that you can agree with. Pace the opinions and attitudes of other people. (Note that you are not giving up your own attitude, but finding an aspect you can agree with.)

c) Mirror the body posture of another person. Mirror the arm position, leg position, or head position. Take the same posture as the other person. (Do not mirror quirks or negative habits of a person, e.g., do not mimic a nervous eye twitch or picking their nose.)

Every day a small step further. Every day a few tiny advances ... and eventually you will notice how you have steered your life in a different direction, how you have expanded your senses, and become the person you would like to be inside.

Supplementary Links

Audio

Practical examples of Pacing >>>
What is rapport, how does rapport develop, and what is it good for?

Video

Pacing in Action >>>
Here is a contribution on the topic of mirroring.

Text

Everyday phenomena on the topic of Pacing >>>
Like attracts like.

Metaphor of the Week

A long time ago, there was a temple of mirrors in China. The temple was located at the top of a mountain and was quite inconspicuous from the outside. One day, a dog entered this temple, where thousands of mirrors were arranged in such a way that its own reflection was mirrored a thousandfold in the temple.

The dog was startled, became afraid, growled, and bared its teeth angrily. And a thousand dogs looked back at it, growling and baring their teeth angrily. The dog fled. From then on, it thought that there were only fierce dogs in the whole world that wanted to fight and bite it.

A few days later, another dog entered this temple. When it saw the thousand other dogs, it was happy, wagged its tail, and jumped around, and a thousand other dogs were happy, wagged their tails, and played with it.

This dog returned with the firm belief that there were only friendly dogs in the whole world that wanted to play with it.

Book Recommendation

The NLP Practitioner Handbook
Author: Klaus Grochowiak

Short Description:
This book is aimed at advanced NLP practitioners. Klaus Grochowiak presents his comprehensive Practitioner Handbook here – the result of over twenty years of practical experience in training and coaching. In addition to the classic NLP formats, you will find numerous new developments, in-depth background information, and clear exercise instructions, with which you can apply your knowledge directly in practice. Perfect for internalizing NLP at the highest level.

Here the book can be ordered.

General Information

NLP Practice Groups

If you are still looking for someone for an NLP practice group near you, then take a look here: www.nlp-peergruppen.de

Archive

We have created an archive with past lessons and links. There you will also find this lesson again as a webpage in HTML. There are always some email programs that display strange characters and do not receive clean emails in either our text or HTML format. In this case, use the online archive to read the lessons. Also, use the archive if you are quickly looking for a link, have lost one of the previous lessons, or have not received a lesson. HERE is the archive of past lessons

Advanced NLP Seminars

Of course, we also offer real seminars with personal encounters. This starts with our free NLP evening seminars in various cities in Germany and goes up to full, twenty-day trainings: Practitioner, Master, Trainer, and Coach.

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Live your dream!
Stephan Landsiedel