NLP Email Training 06

Quote

“The funny thing about life is: If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”

W. Somerset Maugham

Pacing Part (1)

Our topic in recent weeks was perception.

In the exercises of the past weeks, you have calibrated yourself to your counterpart. You have perceived their body language and the tonal qualities of their voice and learned to associate them with internal emotional states. This prepares you to take a big step further:

Pacing means adjusting to the conversation partner, building a bridge to them, creating sympathy, getting on the same wavelength, lowering yourself to their level, immersing yourself in their world model, giving them the feeling “I am like you – and you can trust me”. Birds of a feather flock together is a common saying. Friendships and partnerships are formed on the basis of similarities. This feeling of unconscious connection is called rapport in NLP terminology.

It is the prerequisite for any deep human contact. We need rapport in a sales conversation with a customer just as much as in a partnership with the person who means the most to us.

Exercise for This Week

a) Think about who your friends and partners are and where you met them. Perhaps due to similarities?

b) Listen carefully to your conversation partners today and find something in every statement that you can agree with. Pace the opinions and attitudes of other people in this way. (Note that you are not giving up your own attitude, but finding an aspect you can agree with.)

c) Mirror the posture of another person. Mirror the arm position, leg or head position. Adopt the same posture as the other person. (Do not mirror quirks or negative habits of a person, e.g., not a nervous eye twitch or nose picking.)

Every day a small step further. Every day a few tiny advances... and eventually, you will realize how you have changed the course of your life, how you have expanded your senses and become the person you want to be inside.

Supplementary links

Audio

Practical examples of Pacing >>>
What is rapport, how does it arise, and what is it good for?

Video

Pacing in Action >>>
Here is a contribution on the topic of mirroring.

Text

Everyday phenomena on the topic of Pacing >>>
Birds of a feather flock together.

Metaphor of the Week

A long time ago in China, there was the Temple of Mirrors. The temple was located on the top of a mountain and was quite inconspicuous from the outside. One day, a dog came into this temple, where thousands of mirrors were arranged in such a way that one's own reflection was reflected a thousand times in the temple.

The dog was startled, became afraid, and growled and bared its teeth angrily. And a thousand dogs looked back at him, growling and baring their teeth angrily. The dog fled. From then on, he thought that there were only evil dogs in the world that wanted to fight and bite him.

A few days later, another dog came into this temple. When he saw the thousand other dogs, he was delighted, wagged his tail, and jumped around, and a thousand other dogs were delighted, wagged their tails, and played with him.

This dog returned with the firm conviction that there were only friendly dogs in the world that wanted to play with him.

Book Recommendation

The NLP Practitioner Handbook
Author: Klaus Grochowiak

Short Description:
This book is aimed at advanced NLP users. Klaus Grochowiak presents his comprehensive Practitioner Handbook here – the result of over twenty years of practical experience in training and coaching. In addition to the classic NLP formats, you will find numerous new developments, in-depth background information, and clear exercise instructions, with which you can apply your knowledge directly in practice. Perfect for internalizing NLP at the highest level.

The book can be ordered here.

General information

Archive

We have created an archive with past lessons and links. There you will also find this lesson again as a webpage in HTML. There are always some email programs that display strange characters and do not receive clean emails in either our text or HTML format. Use the online archive to read the lessons in this case. Use the archive also if you are quickly looking for a link, have lost one of the previous lessons, or have not received a lesson. HERE is the link to the archive of past lessons

Further NLP seminars

Of course, we also offer real seminars with personal encounters. This starts with our free NLP evening seminars in various cities in Germany and goes up to entire twenty-day trainings: Practitioner, Master, Trainer, and Coach.

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You are receiving this email because you or a friend of yours ordered it directly from me. If you no longer wish to receive the email training, please use the link provided at the top above the logo to unsubscribe. There you can also change your email address.

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Stephan Landsiedel