NLP Email Training 38

Quote

Only in the conflict of opposing opinions is the truth discovered.

Helvetius

Sleight of Mouth (2)

Last week, we started dealing with the Sleight of Mouth patterns. These patterns help you assist your conversation partner in examining their untested assumptions more closely and scrutinizing the validity of these assumptions.

In addition to the five patterns you dealt with last week – Intention, Redefinition, Counterexample, Apply to Self, and Criteria Hierarchy – you will learn more patterns this week.

As an example, let's consider the belief statement again:
“You are too inexperienced, otherwise you would agree with me.”

1. A different outcome:

There might be goals that the speaker is not aware of. These should be clarified in this way.
What other outcome or problem could be more relevant than the one expressed or implied by the belief statement?
“It's not about my experience, but about wanting to be right.”

2. Change of frame size:

The belief is generalized to the extent that it affects all people, not just the one meant in this special case. Another possibility of changing the frame of reference is to alter the time frame. This pattern boils down to saying: It may be like this or appear so now, but it will be judged quite differently at another time.
“If everyone thought like that, no one would engage with other opinions anymore.”

3. Reality strategy:

This pattern is about questioning the perception process underlying this statement.
“How do you know my experiences?”

4. Chunking Up:

A higher level of generalization, a statement that includes the old one as a special case.
What larger elements or classes are implied by the belief that stand in a more multifaceted or positive relationship to it than those expressed in the belief itself?
“At the end of all experiences, does everyone think like you?”

5. Chunking Down:

A more specific statement containing information implicitly present in the original statement. Chunking down leads to differentiations and distinctions between things; it narrows down the elements about which something is said. The generalization is thus traced back to its components, making reinterpretation easier.
“What experiences do I still need to have to agree with you?”

Exercise for This Week

Limiting Beliefs:
A) “There is too much at stake, so I can't change my profession.”
B) “You don't care about me, otherwise you would have more time for me.”

1. A different outcome: What other outcome or problem could be more relevant than the one expressed or implied by the belief statement?
2. Change of frame size: What longer (or shorter) time frame, what larger or smaller number of people, or what broader or more restricted perspective would change the implications of the belief for the better?
3. Reality strategy: What cognitive perceptions of the world were necessary to build this belief? How would you need to perceive the world for this belief to appear true?
4. Chunking Up: What larger elements or classes are implied by the belief that stand in a more multifaceted or positive relationship to it than those expressed in the belief itself?
5. Chunking Down: What smaller elements or chunks are implied by the belief but have a more multifaceted and positive relationship to it than those expressed in the belief statement?

Consider more limiting beliefs and question them using the five patterns from this week and additionally, if you like, with the five patterns from last week.

Supplementary links

Text:

The Power of Words >>>
How Your Language Frames Your Experiences.

Metaphor of the Week
Too much training only harms

A middle-aged man had been a janitor at a school for 25 years. One day, he was called to the principal.

"I have reviewed your old application documents from 25 years ago. I didn't find a diploma from a higher school. Did you attend a high school?"

"I never went to a higher school," replied the janitor.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but we have received new personnel policies. All employees of the school must have at least a high school diploma. Although you have done fantastic work for 25 years, I have to let you go. Policy is policy."

The janitor put away his cleaning supplies and went home. "What now?" he said to his wife. "I've been a janitor all my life. Maybe I can become self-employed as a janitor."

The first company he approached immediately agreed: "You can clean for us. We know how well you did it at the school."

It was the same with the second company. Soon the janitor had more buildings to clean than he could handle alone. He hired an assistant.

The business kept expanding. The janitor hired more people. The customers were so satisfied that they also entrusted him with maintenance and renovation work.

After a few years, the janitor was wealthy. He had a few dozen employees, trucks, machines, and a six-figure bank balance.

One day he received an invitation from his bank. The vice president greeted him: "I'm glad you came. We've never met you before. Only your employees come to deposit money. During an audit, we recently found that you never signed an account opening application."

"Would you please sign for the sake of order?"

"I can't write," the janitor apologized. "I never went to school. Would an X suffice?"

"Of course." The banker didn't want to offend such an important customer. "That's amazing. A janitor becomes self-employed, builds a large company, and becomes one of our biggest customers. Just imagine what you could have become if you had a good education."

"Damn it!" said the janitor. "If I had attended a higher school, I would still be a janitor."

Book Recommendation

The Treasure Chest. NLP in Sales
Authors: Richard Bandler and Paul Donner

Short Description:
The linguistic patterns described in this book were derived by examining how language is used and can be used to affect the lives and emotions of people. Many of the Sleight-of-Mouth patterns presented here were formulated based on the analysis of linguistic patterns of people like Socrates, Karl Marx, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Milton Erickson, and Jesus of Nazareth. The patterns consist of linguistic categories and distinctions that can be used to establish, change, or transform central beliefs through linguistic means.

Here the book can be ordered: Now at Amazon

General information

Archive
We have created an archive with past lessons and links. There you will also find this lesson again as a webpage in HTML. There are always some email programs that display strange characters and do not receive clean emails in either our text or HTML format. Use the online archive to read the lessons in this case. Use the archive also if you are quickly looking for a link, have lost one of the previous lessons, or have not received a lesson. HERE is the archive of past lessons.

Further NLP seminars
Of course, we also offer real seminars with personal encounters. This starts with our free NLP evening seminars in various cities in Germany and goes up to entire twenty-day trainings: Practitioner, Master, Trainer, and Coach.

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Stephan Landsiedel