NLP Email Training 38

Quote

Only in the conflict of opposing opinions is the truth discovered.

Helvetius

Sleight of Mouth (2)

Last week we started to engage with the Sleight of Mouth patterns. These patterns help you assist your conversation partner in examining their untested assumptions more closely and scrutinizing the accuracy of those assumptions.

In addition to the five patterns you worked on last week – Intention, Redefinition, Counterexample, Apply to self, and Criteria Hierarchy – you will learn more patterns this week.

As an example, let’s consider the belief statement again:
“You are too inexperienced; otherwise, you would agree with me.”

1. Another outcome:

There may be goals that the speaker is not aware of. These should be clarified in this way.
What other outcome or problem could be more relevant than that expressed or implied by the belief statement?
"It's not about my experience for you, but about wanting to be right."

2. Changing the frame size:

The belief is generalized to the extent that it affects all people, not just the one intended in this special case. Another way to change the reference frame is to alter the time frame. This pattern amounts to saying: It may be this way now or appear this way, but it will be judged quite differently at another time.
"If everyone thought that way, no one would engage with other opinions anymore."

3. Reality strategy:

This pattern involves questioning the perception process underlying this statement.
"How do you know my experiences?"

4. Chunking Up:

A higher level of generalization, a statement that includes the old as a special case.
What larger elements or classes are implied by the belief that stand in a more nuanced or positive relationship to it than those expressed in the belief itself?
"At the end of all experiences, does everyone think like you?"

5. Chunking Down:

A more specific statement that contains information implicitly included in the original statement. Chunking down leads to differentiations and distinctions between things; it narrows down the elements about which something is stated. The generalization is thus traced back to its components, making reinterpretation easier.
"What experiences do I still need to have for me to agree with you?"

Exercise for this week

Restrictive beliefs:
A) "Too much is at stake, so I can't change my profession."
B) "You don't care about me, otherwise you would have more time for me."

1. Another outcome: What other outcome or problem could be more relevant than that expressed or implied by the belief statement?
2. Changing the frame size: What longer (or shorter) time frame, what larger or smaller number of people, or what broader or narrower perspective would change the implications of the belief for the better?
3. Reality strategy: What cognitive perceptions of the world were necessary to build this belief? How would you need to perceive the world for this belief to appear true?
4. Chunking Up: What larger elements or classes are implied by the belief that stand in a more nuanced or positive relationship to it than those expressed in the belief itself?
5. Chunking Down: What smaller elements or chunks are implied by the belief but have a more nuanced and positive relationship to it than those expressed in the belief statement?

Consider further restrictive beliefs and question them using the five patterns from this week and additionally, if you like, with the five patterns from last week.

Supplementary Links

Text:

The Power of Words >>>
How your language frames your experiences.

Metaphor of the Week
Too much training is harmful

A middle-aged man had been a janitor at a school for 25 years. One day he was called to the principal's office.

"I reviewed your old application documents from 25 years ago. I did not find a diploma from a higher school. Did you attend high school?"

“I have never been to a higher school,” replied the janitor.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but we have received new personnel policies. All school employees must have at least a high school diploma. You have done fantastic work for 25 years, but I have to let you go. A policy is a policy.”

The janitor put away his cleaning supplies and went home. “What now?” he said to his wife. “I have been a janitor all my life. Maybe I can become self-employed as a janitor.”

The first company he applied to immediately said: “You can clean for us. We know how well you did that at the school.”

The second company went just as well. Soon the janitor had more buildings to keep clean than he could handle alone. He hired an assistant.

The business expanded more and more. The janitor hired more people. The customers were so satisfied that they also commissioned him for maintenance and renovation work.

After a few years, the janitor was wealthy. He had a few dozen employees, trucks, machines, and a six-figure balance at the bank.

One day he received an invitation from his bank. The vice president greeted him: “I’m glad you came. We have never met you. Only your employees come to deposit money. During an audit, we recently found out that you have never signed an application for account opening.”

“Would you please sign for the record?”

“I can’t write,” the janitor apologized. “I never went to school. Would an X be enough?”

“Of course.” The banker didn’t want to offend such an important customer. “That’s amazing. A janitor becomes self-employed, builds a large company, and becomes one of our biggest clients. Just imagine what you could have become if you had a good education.”

“To hell!” said the janitor. “If I had attended a higher school, I would still be a janitor.”

Book Recommendation

The Treasure Chest. NLP in Sales
Authors: Richard Bandler and Paul Donner

Short Description:
The linguistic patterns described in this book were obtained by examining how language is used and can be used to influence people's lives and emotions. Many of the Sleight-of-Mouth patterns presented here were formulated based on the analysis of linguistic patterns from people like Socrates, Karl Marx, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Milton Erickson, and Jesus of Nazareth. The patterns consist of linguistic categories and distinctions that can be used to establish, change, or transform core beliefs through language.

Here the book can be ordered: Now on Amazon

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Stephan Landsiedel