NLP Email Training 03

Quote

„There is no reality other than the one we have within us. That is why most people live so unreal, because they take images outside for the real and do not let their own world within them speak at all.”

Hermann Hesse

Congruence

Personal congruence is one of the most important concepts in NLP. It refers to the alignment of words, tone, body language, and also actions. Someone who says, "I'm doing great?" in a whiny voice is not congruent. Their words do not match the whiny tone. In this case, most people would believe their tone rather than the content of their words. Below you will find some examples in the supplementary links under "Audio."

In a study, a researcher found that we convey our information about 7% through content. The remaining 93% is divided into 55% body language and 38% voice and tone. If the body language does not match the content, most people become suspicious and tend to believe the body language. We have probably all experienced that someone has willfully lied to us. Most people find it much harder to disguise their body language.

Exercise for this week

a) Pay attention to the congruence (alignment) of words and tone. Does your counterpart mean what they say, or do you have a different impression?

b) Are you congruent yourself? Do you speak with joy in your voice and body language? Pay special attention for one day to ensure that your body underscores the impact of your words.

c) Deliberately lie and pay attention to being congruently dishonest, i.e., avoid blushing and awkward gestures when telling something untrue.

Supplementary Links

Audio

Congruence »»»
Examples of congruent and incongruent statements.

Text

Congruence and Authenticity »»»
Some thoughts on the difference between congruence and authenticity.

Metaphor of the Week

The Wisdom of the Universe

A long time ago, the gods considered that it would be very bad if humans were to find the wisdom of the universe before they were actually mature enough for it. So the gods decided to hide the wisdom of the universe in a place where humans would not find it until they were mature enough.

One of the gods suggested hiding the wisdom on the highest mountain on Earth. But the gods quickly realized that humans would soon climb all mountains and that the wisdom would not be safely hidden there. Another suggested hiding the wisdom at the deepest point in the sea. But even there, the gods saw the danger that humans would find the wisdom too early.

Then the wisest of all gods made his suggestion: "I know what to do. Let us hide the wisdom of the universe within humans themselves. They will only seek it there when they are mature enough, for they must go the path into their inner selves."

The other gods were thrilled with this suggestion, and so they hid the wisdom of the universe within humans themselves.

Book Recommendation

Way Up – Living Your Own Dream

Short Description:
Workbook for personal development with NLP. A treasure trove and training program for anyone who wants to continue working on their personality. A very well-founded presentation of NLP – also very understandable without prior NLP knowledge. Simple and vivid language. Find the vision of your life and transform it step by step into realizable plans for all areas of your life. Unleash the power of your beliefs and create an irresistible future. Achieve fantastic states in fractions of a second, in which you are unstoppable.

Learn the strategies of top experts and use them to realize your own success. Develop an unshakeable self-confidence and break through your success barriers. Build harmonious and lasting relationships with partners, family and friends, employees, and customers.

Here the book can be ordered.

General Information

NLP Practice Groups

If you are still looking for someone for an NLP practice group near you, then take a look here: www.nlp-peergruppen.de

Archive

We have created an archive of past lessons and links. There you will also find this lesson again as a webpage in HTML. There are occasionally some email programs that display strange characters and do not receive clean emails in either our text or HTML format. In this case, use the online archive to read the lessons. Also, use the archive if you are quickly looking for a link, have lost one of the previous lessons, or have not received a lesson. HERE is the archive of past lessons

Advanced NLP Seminars

Of course, we also offer real seminars with personal encounters. This starts with our free NLP evening seminars in various cities in Germany and goes up to full, twenty-day trainings: Practitioner, Master, Trainer, and Coach. More information at: www.nlp-insider.com

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Live your dream!
Stephan Landsiedel