NLP Email Training 37

Quote

Every conflict revolves around different perspectives, all of which illuminate the same truth.

Gandhi

Sleight of Mouth (1)

Language is one of the central components from which we develop our mental models of the world, and it can greatly influence how we respond to it. With the help of the Sleight of Mouth patterns, central beliefs can be established, changed, or transformed. These patterns can thus be referred to as verbal reframings for beliefs.

The Sleight of Mouth patterns encompass different types of verbal reframing, with which we can reconnect our generalizations and mental models of the world with our experience and with the other aspects of the meta-structure of our beliefs.

As an example of a limiting belief, let us consider:
“You are too inexperienced; otherwise, you would agree with me.”

1. Intention:

It is about engaging with the intention or function of this belief – with the underlying motivations and meta-goals.
What positive purpose or positive intention underlies a belief or this belief statement?
Perhaps this is an awkward attempt to convince me of your ideas.

2. Redefine:

Assign different meanings to the behavior. By changing the meaning, the effect changes.
What other word means something similar to one of the words used in the belief statement but has more positive implications?
You do not want me to gain experiences, but rather to yield to you.

3. Criteria Hierarchy:

Find a higher criterion that has not been considered in the statement. This directs attention in another direction, towards another equivalence with greater significance or intensity.
What criterion that has not yet been considered might be more important than those expressed in the belief?
Do you prefer agreement over initiative and engagement?

4. Apply to Self:

In this pattern, you apply the criterion of the statement to the statement or the speaker themselves. In other words: The behavior or statement of the speaker is an example of what they accuse the other of.
How can you assess the belief statement itself according to the relationships or criteria defined by the belief?
You would agree with me if your experiences were not in the way.

5. Counterexample:

Counterexamples serve to shake the evidence of a belief and thereby open up new possibilities to expand the model of the world and regain lost information. A good method is to choose counterexamples from the speaker's history.
What example or experience is an exception to the rule defined by the belief?
Is it conceivable to have a lot of experience and still hold a different opinion than you?

Exercise for this week

Example: “Cancer leads to death.”

• Intention: What positive intention or positive purpose lies behind this belief?
• Redefine: What other word means something similar but has more positive implications?
• Criteria Hierarchy: What previously unconsidered criterion might be more important than those expressed in the belief?
• Apply to self: How could one assess the statement itself according to the criteria defined in the belief?
• What example or experience is an exception to the rule defined by the belief?

Think of more examples and apply the Sleight of Mouth patterns to them!

Supplementary Links

Audio:

Sleight of Mouth >>>
A brief introduction to the Sleight of Mouth patterns.

Text:

Sleight of Mouth >>>
Origin and history of Sleight of Mouth.

Metaphor of the Week

Milton Erickson once said to Richard Bandler, who did not consider himself a therapist:

“Well, let’s pretend ... you are a therapist working with people. The most important thing, ... when you pretend ..., is to know, ..., that you actually are not... You are just pretending ...”

“And if you are really good at pretending, then the people you work with will pretend to change. And they will forget that they are just pretending ... for the rest of their lives.”

“The main thing is, don’t let yourself be fooled by it.”

Book Recommendation

The magic of language. Sleight of Mouth. Applied NLP
Author: Robert B. Dilts

Short Description:
The linguistic patterns described in this book were derived by examining how language is used and can be used to affect the lives and emotions of people. Many of the Sleight-of-Mouth patterns presented here were formulated based on the analysis of linguistic patterns from people like Socrates, Karl Marx, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Milton Erickson, and Jesus of Nazareth.

The patterns consist of linguistic categories and distinctions that can be used to establish, change, or transform central beliefs through linguistic means.

Here the book can be ordered: Now on Amazon

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Stephan Landsiedel