NLP Email Training 37

Quote

Every battle revolves around different perspectives, all of which illuminate the same truth

Gandhi

Sleight of Mouth (1)

Language is one of the central components from which we develop our mental models of the world, and it can greatly influence the way we respond to it. With the help of Sleight of Mouth patterns, central beliefs can be established, changed, or transformed. These patterns can thus be described as verbal reframings for beliefs.

The Sleight of Mouth patterns encompass different types of verbal reframings that help us reconnect our generalizations and mental models of the world with our experience and with the other aspects of the meta-structure of our beliefs.

As an example of a limiting belief, consider:
“You are too inexperienced, otherwise you would agree with me.”

1. Intention:

It is about engaging with the intention or function of this belief – with the underlying motivations and meta-goals.
What positive purpose or intention underlies a belief or this belief statement?
Perhaps this is an awkward attempt to convince me of your ideas.

2. Redefine:

Assign different meanings to the behavior. By changing the meaning, the effect changes.
What other word means something similar to one of the words used in the belief statement but has more positive implications?
You don't want me to gain experience, but rather to yield to you.

3. Hierarchy of Criteria:

Find a higher criterion that has not been considered in the statement. This directs attention in another direction, towards another equivalence with greater significance or intensity.
What unconsidered criterion might be more important than those expressed in the belief statement?
Do you prefer agreement over initiative and commitment?

4. Apply to Self:

In this pattern, you apply the criterion of the statement to the statement or the speaker themselves. In other words, the behavior or statement of the speaker is an example of what they accuse the other of.
How can you evaluate the belief statement itself according to the relationships or criteria defined by the belief?
You would agree with me if your experiences weren't in the way.

5. Counterexample:

Counterexamples serve to shake the evidence of a belief and thereby open up new possibilities to expand the model of the world and regain deleted information. A good method is to choose counterexamples from the speaker's history.
What example or experience is an exception to the rule defined by the belief statement?
Is it conceivable to have a lot of experience and still hold a different opinion than you?

Exercise for This Week

Example: “Cancer leads to death.”

• Intention: What positive intention or purpose is behind this belief?
• Redefine: What other word means something similar but has more positive implications?
• Hierarchy of Criteria: What unconsidered criterion might be more important than those expressed in the belief statement?
• Apply to self: How could the statement itself be evaluated through the criteria defined in the belief?
• What example or experience is an exception to the rule defined by the belief statement?

Think of more examples and apply the Sleight of Mouth patterns to them!

Supplementary links

Audio:

Sleight of Mouth >>>
A brief introduction to the Sleight of Mouth patterns.

Text:

Sleight of Mouth >>>
Origin and history of Sleight of Mouth.

Metaphor of the Week

Milton Erickson once said to Richard Bandler, who did not consider himself a therapist:

“Well, let's pretend... you are a therapist working with people. The most important thing, ... when you pretend..., is to know, ..., that you actually are not... You are just pretending...”

“And if you are really good at pretending, then the people you work with will pretend to change. And they will forget that they are just pretending... for the rest of their lives.”

“The main thing is not to let yourself be deceived by it.”

Book Recommendation

The Magic of Language. Sleight of Mouth. Applied NLP
Author: Robert B. Dilts

Short Description:
The linguistic patterns described in this book were derived by examining how language is used and can be used to affect people's lives and emotions. Many of the Sleight of Mouth patterns presented here were formulated based on the analysis of linguistic patterns of people like Socrates, Karl Marx, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Milton Erickson, and Jesus of Nazareth.

The patterns consist of linguistic categories and distinctions that help establish, change, or transform central beliefs through linguistic means.

Here the book can be ordered: Now at Amazon

General information

Archive
We have created an archive with past lessons and links. There you will also find this lesson again as a webpage in HTML. There are always some email programs that display strange characters and do not receive clean emails in either our text or HTML format. Use the online archive to read the lessons in this case. Use the archive also if you are quickly looking for a link, have lost one of the previous lessons, or have not received a lesson. HERE is the archive of past lessons.

Further NLP seminars
Of course, we also offer real seminars with personal encounters. This starts with our free NLP evening seminars in various cities in Germany and goes up to entire twenty-day trainings: Practitioner, Master, Trainer, and Coach.

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Stephan Landsiedel