The Best Self-Coaching Techniques with NLP – How to Become Your Own Coach

In this episode of the NLP Podcast by Stefan and Marian, we discuss a topic that many listeners have requested: Self-Coaching with NLP. You will learn how to apply the most effective NLP techniques not only in coaching others but also for yourself – to live more calmly, successfully, and happily. By State Management about the Mentor Technique goal work inner images and questioning techniques you will get to know tools that you can implement immediately.

What does self-coaching with NLP mean?

Many people learn NLP to work with others – as a coach, therapist, teacher, or leader. But NLP is also a powerful tool for your own personal development. Self-coaching means reflecting on yourself, leading yourself, and actively shaping your inner attitude. Instead of reacting to external circumstances, you learn to act consciously.

With NLP, you can change negative states, dissolve fears, strengthen self-confidence, or simply become more relaxed. You use the same tools that coaches apply to others – just for yourself. The goal: to grow, to unfold, and to become the person you want to be.

State Management – consciously controlling your state

One of the most powerful self-coaching tools is the State Management – the ability to actively influence your own emotional state. Because how you feel determines how you think, act, and decide.

The Foundation: Body, Breathing, and Movement

When you notice that you are in a negative state, you can change that immediately. NLP calls this 'physiology'. Try the following:

• Stand up straight, stretch your arms, take a deep breath.
• Assume a power pose or move energetically.
• Smile consciously – your brain follows your body language.

Even small physical changes act like an emotional switch. Combine them with music, movement, or conscious breathing (e.g., 'warrior breathing') to change your energy in minutes.

Asking Better Questions – the Magic of Self-Reflection

A good coach asks good questions. And you can do that yourself too. Instead of asking yourself "Why is this happening to me?", rather ask "How can I use this situation for myself?". Good questions open the mind and create new possibilities.

Examples of powerful self-coaching questions:

• What can I learn from this situation?
• How can I solve this problem most easily?
• How can I connect joy and success today?
• What am I proud of in my life?
• What am I grateful for today?

Write these questions down and answer them regularly. This way, you train your thinking towards solutions, gratitude, and growth – instead of problems.

The Mentor Technique – your inner advisor

One of the simplest and most effective NLP techniques for self-coaching is the Mentor Technique. It helps you see a situation from the perspective of an experienced or admired person.

Here's how it works:

1. Choose a person who inspires you – real or fictional (e.g., Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs, a mentor, a teacher).
2. Imagine you are talking to this person or they are observing you.
3. Ask yourself: What would my mentor advise me right now? or How would he master this situation?

This shift in perspective greatly expands your thinking. You gain access to resources and ideas that you might overlook in your current state.

Anchors and Rituals – activating positive states

NLP works with so-called anchoring – stimuli that automatically activate positive states. These can be images, music, symbols, or places.

Example:

Hang an inspiring quote or a picture of your mentor on the wall. Every time you see it, you remember your best state. This way, you train your subconscious for success and motivation.

Rituals also act like mental anchors: a specific morning routine, breathing exercise, or question that you ask yourself daily ("How can I make this day a masterpiece?").

The NLP Presuppositions as a Life Attitude

NLP is based on assumptions that serve as mental filters . They change how you perceive the world. When you apply them consistently, your attitude towards life changes sustainably.

Examples of NLP assumptions in self-coaching:

• Behind every behavior is a positive intention.
• The map is not the territory – I see the world through my filters.
• There are no mistakes, only feedback.

Apply one of these assumptions consistently for a month – and observe how your thinking, feeling, and acting change.

Changing Inner Images and Voices

Our thoughts consist of inner images, sounds, and feelings. If you want to change painful thoughts, change these sensory channels – NLP calls this Submodalities.

Steven Spielberg technique – you are the director of your thoughts

Imagine you are the director of your inner cinema:

• Make negative images smaller, darker, or further away.
• Make positive experiences larger, brighter, and more colorful.
• Play them in slow motion or with music.

You can also change your inner voices. A critical voice sounds less threatening if you let it speak like Mickey Mouse or overlay it with a cheerful children's song. This way, it loses its power – and you gain humor and lightness.

Advanced Techniques in Self-Coaching

If you already have NLP experience, you can also apply more complex formats to yourself – e.g., the Walt Disney Strategy (Dreamer, Planner, Critic) or the Dilts Pyramid (logical levels). They help you structure large projects or clarify personal goals.

Timeline work or Core Transformation can also be used as a deep self-coaching tool with experience – what’s important here is that you already master the technique securely.

Conclusion: Become Your Own Coach

Self-coaching with NLP means taking responsibility for your thinking, feeling, and acting. You learn to manage your states, inspire yourself, and see challenges as opportunities. The methods presented here are simple but powerful ways to consciously shape your life – a little more every day.

If you want to dive deeper, you will find on the World of NLP platform numerous recordings, seminars, and practice groups with which you can systematically learn and directly apply NLP.