The Enneagram – Your key to personal development

Today it's about you – your personality, your patterns, and your potential. In conversation with Kirstin, Stefan and Marian dive into the fascinating personality development model Enneagram You will learn how this model helps you understand yourself better, direct your energy more consciously, and develop in relationships and in your career.

What is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is much more than a personality model – it is a development model. It describes nine fundamental patterns of human motivation and perception. Unlike classical typology models, it is not about putting people in boxes, but about understanding their inner drives. It shows, why you do what you do – and how you can free yourself if a pattern limits you.

The roots of the Enneagram reach back to mystical traditions but have been further developed in modern psychology. Today, coaches, therapists, and leaders use it to better understand themselves and others. Its strength lies in its depth: It considers not only behavior but also motivation, energy, and awareness.

The nine patterns of the Enneagram

Every person has aspects of all nine patterns within them, but one dominates. It is like a fundamental melody that accompanies life. Kirstin describes it as follows:

• Type 1 – The Reformer: Strives for perfection and order. Sees immediately what is "not right". Learning task: Calmness and acceptance.
• Type 2 – The Helper: Wants to do good for others, often forgetting themselves. Learning task: Acknowledging one's own needs.
• Type 3 – The Achiever: Success and performance are at the center. Learning task: Authenticity and genuine connection.
• Type 4 – The Individualist: Lives intensely in feelings and seeks uniqueness. Learning task: Grounding and emotional balance.
• Type 5 – The Thinker: Withdraws into the world of thoughts, seeks security in knowledge. Learning task: Courage to connect.
• Type 6 – The Skeptic: Seeks security, doubts a lot, and analyzes. Learning task: Trust in life.
• Type 7 – The Optimist: Seeks fun, variety, and lightness. Learning task: Allowing depth.
• Type 8 – The Leader: Strong, direct, protective – sometimes overpowering. Learning task: Acknowledging vulnerability.
• Type 9 – The Mediator: Strives for harmony and avoids conflicts. Learning task: Clearly representing one's own position.

Each pattern is valuable. The path of development consists of finding balance – living the strengths without losing oneself in the shadows.

Practical examples: When understanding brings about change

In Kirstin's work, touching moments repeatedly emerge where people suddenly understand why they react the way they do. A mother realized that her daughter lives an emotional pattern of the Four – intense, dramatic, deep. Instead of stopping the drama, she met her with understanding: "You are special." And the drama was over. The conflict dissolved through genuine seeing.

Another example: A man with the pattern 5 – the Thinker – lived in isolation for decades. Only in coaching did he realize how much he missed contact with others and took the first steps out. Small changes with a big impact.

The Enneagram helps to understand dynamics in relationships. For example: A helping Two meets a withdrawn Five – she pressures, he withdraws. Through understanding the patterns, both can recognize that it is not rejection, but different needs that are the cause. Such insights create connection and peace.

Deepening: Wings, lines, and subtypes

The Enneagram is complex and at the same time elegant. In addition to the nine basic patterns, there are additional elements:

• Wings: Each pattern has neighboring patterns that influence it. A "3 with a 2 wing" is more people-oriented, a "3 with a 4 wing" is more emotional and creative.
• Lines: In the Enneagram, lines connect the patterns. A line shows the direction you take in stress or in development. For example: The 1 moves in stress to the 4 (emotional), in development to the 7 (more joyful).
• Subtypes: Three basic instincts – self-preservation, 1-to-1, and social – color each pattern. Thus, the same type can appear very differently.

This depth makes the model so fascinating. It is not rigid, but dynamic – a system that describes how personality unfolds and changes.

Development with the Enneagram

Recognition is the first step. When you know your pattern, you can observe when it automatically kicks in – in thoughts, feelings, or reactions. The moment of recognition is already change. You are no longer your pattern, but the one who notices it.

Kirstin emphasizes: “Every pattern costs energy. When we learn to lead it consciously, instead of being led by it, we regain life energy.” Thus, the Enneagram becomes a tool for self-leadership – it helps you to be gentler with yourself and to deal more clearly with others.

In courses and training, the focus is on practicing exactly that: recognizing patterns, developing acceptance, acting more consciously. Whether in coaching, in teams, or in relationships – the Enneagram opens spaces for understanding and growth.

Conclusion: A model for growth and awareness

The Enneagram shows that you are more than your habits. It gives you a deep insight into your inner life – and ways to transform it. Whether you want to understand yourself better, create more harmonious relationships, or grow professionally: This model accompanies you at every step of your personal development.

Closing statement: Recognize your pattern, but do not remain trapped in it. Awareness is the first step to true freedom.