The L in NLP – The Power of Language

Language shapes our thinking, our relationships, and even our outcomes in life. In the NLP podcast, we talk Stefan and Marian about the L in NLP – the linguistic part – and why words have more power than we often believe. Marian, a language artist and communication expert, shows how language can resolve conflicts, spark motivation, and even have hypnotic effects.

Fascination with Language – Why Words Create Worlds

Marian shares that he has been fascinated by language since childhood – especially because he observed how conflicts could sometimes dissolve into thin air with just a few words. This experience led him early to psychological communication and later to NLP. His insight: Language is not a neutral tool, but a means of shaping reality.

A sentence, a word, a small formulation can make the difference between someone feeling understood – or hurt. Those who use language consciously can defuse conflicts, deepen relationships, and even change thoughts.

The central language models in NLP

In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), linguistics plays a central role. It shows how language structures perception – and how we gain access to our thinking and feeling through words. Marian names four classic language models of NLP:

• Meta-model of language: A precise questioning model to challenge unclear or limiting statements. It uncovers generalizations, deletions, and distortions – leading to clarity and new options.
• Milton model: The hypnotic language model according to Milton Erickson. It uses targeted ambiguity, metaphors, and stories to directly address the subconscious.
• Sleight of Mouth: Linguistic patterns for changing beliefs – a tool for quick-wittedness, coaching, and persuasion.
• Meta-programs: Thinking and perception patterns that become visible in language (e.g., 'towards' or 'away from', 'detail' or 'overview').

These models are the basis of many modern coaching, therapy, and communication methods. They show that precise and conscious language is not manipulation, but a conscious influence for good can be.

Storytelling and Milton Erickson

A central element of the Milton model is storytelling.Milton Erickson, the founder of modern hypnosis, used stories to stimulate changes in his clients' thinking and feeling. Marian describes how this impressed him even as a teenager: 'I read Erickson's first book at 16 – I understood hardly anything, but the stories deeply moved me.'

Stories bypass conscious resistance. They allow the listener to construct meanings themselves. That’s why they often work – in therapy, coaching, teaching, or advertising – more powerfully than arguments.

Conversational Hypnosis – Effect without Trance

Marian explains: 'We don’t need trance to have a hypnotic effect.' In so-called conversational hypnosis, linguistic principles are used directly in conversation. Words direct attention, change perception, and open the unconscious – without a formal state of hypnosis.

Example: An emergency doctor who speaks calmly and purposefully can alleviate pain – completely without a formal ritual. This works because the brain always processes language emotionally. 'No ritual is needed – just awareness of how to speak.'

The eight hypnotic principles

In his new article series in the World of NLP Magazine, Marian presents the 'eight hypnotic principles' – fundamental principles that describe why and how language works. Two of them are particularly illustrative:

• 1. Repetition: Our brain learns through repetition. What we hear or say often becomes true. That’s why advertising, affirmations, or constant suggestions work – whether consciously or unconsciously.
• 2. Smooth transition: Changes are easier when the transition is naturally designed. Instead of 'We are going home now!' the phrase 'Slide one more time and then we go home' works – a gentle transition that minimizes resistance.

These principles explain why coaching, teaching, or parent communication sometimes fails – and how small linguistic adjustments can have a big impact.

Double Bind and other Milton patterns

One of Marian's favorite patterns from the Milton model is the Double Bind – the art of providing apparent choices that all lead to the desired goal. Example: "Do you want to start with math or rather with German?" – both options lead to learning. Or in everyday life: "Are you coming here yourself or should I pick you up?" – the other person remains autonomous, yet the goal is still achieved.

The double bind thus uses psychological dynamics to connect freedom of choice with influence – respectfully and elegantly. Marian: "It's so simple and works with children, adults, and clients. It's almost magical because it respects the autonomy of the other person."

Language and AI – How Words Hack Systems

Language patterns influence not only people but also artificial intelligence. Marian shares an example: If you ask an AI not to name drug dealer locations ("Where should I not go?"), it will name exactly those places – because negations in language are not intuitively processed by machines either. "AI learns from humans – and language is the code."

This shows: Whether human or machine – whoever understands language understands thinking. NLP provides the tools to consciously, ethically, and effectively utilize this influence.

Conclusion: Language as the Key to Change

Language is one of the most powerful tools we possess. With NLP, you learn to choose words purposefully – to create clarity, strengthen trust, and enable change. Whether in coaching, partnership, teaching, or AI interaction: The L in NLP is the gateway to impact.

Guiding principle: Words are tools. Those who use them consciously shape consciousness – in themselves and others.

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