NLP Podcast 34: Integral Couple Relationships

In the latest podcast, I talk with Mirela Ivanceanu, a truly wonderful woman who is a trainer and coach. Mirela co-leads the Landsiedel location in Berlin with Ralf Stumpf and she conducts with me in the series Integral Year Training the through. We have a good hour-long conversation and discuss numerous approaches that help the listener improve life in partnership relationships. Of course, this also involves sexuality.

We discuss the approach of "self-affirmed identity" by David Schnarch. It’s about opening up to the other person, even at the risk that they might reject me and my views. In contrast to pseudo-intimacy, which simply demands that the other continues to love me after my self-disclosure.
We talk about hugs and the psychographic work according to Friedmann with the three types: knowledge type, relationship type, and action type. I am more of an action type, while Mirela is a relationship type. Therefore, she fully understood in the conversation that I long for total merging in relationships. She said that this is the great longing of the action type.
In the conversation, we also repeatedly refer to the integral approach to couple relationships. There are very different functions and tasks in the partnership depending on the developmental level of the two partners. So, one cannot say: "These are the best tips," but it depends on how developed the two partners are.
The five languages of love make it clear that we are not only developed to different extents, but also have different needs regarding how the partner shows us their love. While some prefer the language of "praise and recognition," others need "quality time" or "affection."
Finally, the important topic of "vibrant sexuality" takes up a large part of our conversation. We briefly outline the developmental line of sexuality and then address the question of why so few people engage intensely with their sexuality and do not simply talk extensively with their partner about their wishes and needs. Finally, we propose the concept of erotic dialogues by Michael Lukas Moeller.

Overall, it is a very informative and varied podcast for everyone interested in the topic of partnership.