NLP → NLP Lexicon

Polarities

Definition

Polarities refer to opposites or extreme poles that do not exist in isolation but are interconnected and exhibit mutual dependence. Unlike dualistic "either-or" thinking, where opposites exclude each other, polar thinking implies the possibility that two seemingly opposing poles can coexist and interact with each other.

An example of polarities in NLP is the tension between self-confidence and self-doubt, both of which can be present simultaneously in a person's thinking and behavior.

Origins and Theoretical Background

Polarities as a concept have their roots in various schools of thought, including dialectics (Hegel), systemic and holistic approaches, as well as psychology.

In systemic therapy and NLP, polarities have been used to explain complex and often contradictory aspects of human experience. In NLP, polarities are not seen as problematic but as a resource that promotes self-awareness and facilitates dealing with inner contradictions.

Application Examples

• Personal Development: A client wants to experience both independence and closeness. NLP invites recognition of both aspects and finding ways to unite them – for example, through healthy, independent relationships.
• Communication in Conflicts: A person wants both confrontation and harmony at the same time. Instead of seeing them as incompatible, solutions are sought that meet both needs.
• Decision-Making Situations: Security and adventure are often seen as opposites. NLP can help integrate both, e.g., through "safe adventures" or controlled risks.

Areas of Application

• Therapy: Support in recognizing and integrating inner contradictions.
• Coaching: Promoting clarity and creative solutions by making polarities conscious.
• Conflict resolution: Opening new perspectives in complex conflict situations.
• Personal Development: Acceptance and integration of contradictory aspects for inner wholeness.

Methods and Exercises

1. The Polarities Model: Creating a list of opposites and reflecting on how they can be connected.
   Example: Freedom ↔ Responsibility – how do they complement each other?
2. Reframing: Reinterpreting opposites as resources.
   Example: Work and rest as equally valuable aspects of a fulfilling life.
3. Meta-model questions: Questioning the polarity, e.g., "What is the advantage of one?" or "How could both be possible at the same time?"

Synonyms or Related Terms

• Opposites
• Contradictions
• Duality
• Dialectics
• Ambiguity (multiple meanings)
• Complementarity (complementary opposites)

Scientific or Practical Benefit

• Understanding Complexity: Polarities help integrate contradictory aspects of human experience.
• Cognitive Flexibility: Encouraging thinking beyond "black and white" and opening the view for nuances.
• Holistic Solutions: Opposites as part of a common dimension enable integrative answers.

Criticism or Limitations

• Overwhelm: Too many simultaneous polarities can confuse.
• Cultural differences: Perception of polarities is culturally and individually shaped.

Literature and References

• Bandler, R., & Grinder, J. (1975). The Structure of Magic I: A Book About Language and Therapy. Science and Behavior Books, Palo Alto.
• Dilts, R. (1990). Changing Belief Systems with NLP. Meta Publications, Capitola.
• Watzlawick, P., Beavin, J. H., & Jackson, D. D. (1967). Pragmatics of Human Communication. W. W. Norton and Company, New York.

Metaphor or Analogy

Polarities are like the two ends of a seesaw – they seem opposite but are inseparably connected. Only the conscious back-and-forth creates balance, movement, and development. Those who sit on only one side remain rigid – both poles are necessary for wholeness.

See also