NLP Master Library: Virginia Satir

Quotes by Virginia Satir

I want us all to live as fully as we can. The only time I truly feel terrible is when people have not lived a life that expresses who they are. They live with all those “I shoulds” and “I musts,” with blame, placating, and all that stuff — and I think, “How sad.”
Virginia Satir (1988)

When I was much younger than I am now, an older person I loved very much told me: “Spend at least fifteen minutes a day weaving dreams. And if you’ve woven a hundred, at least two will come to life.”
So keep dreaming your dreams and don’t worry about whether they can happen or not — weave them first. Many people have killed their dreams by trying to find out whether they could achieve them before they ever dreamed them. So if you’re a first-class dreamer, dream freely — many dreams at once — and see what reality arises to fulfill them instead of saying, “Oh my God, what can I even dream in this reality?”
Virginia Satir (1984)

Whatever another person says cannot make us into what they see us as — unless we allow it.
Virginia Satir

Before I leave this world, one thing I wish everyone to know is that human connection is created through touch, through the eyes, and through the sound of the voice. These are the things we learned before we had words. The way our parents touched us, looked at us, the sound of their voices — all of that is stored within us.
Virginia Satir (1988)

The Life of Virginia Satir

Learn more about the life of Virginia Satir in our section on Important Figures in NLP on the page about Virginia Satir.

The Four Satir Types (Survival Stances)

• Overview of the Four Types
• Placating
• Blaming
• Super-Reasonable
• Distracting
• Exercise on the Satir Types

Core Concepts of Virginia Satir

Core Beliefs:

Virginia Satir believed that there is a life force or universal spirit that operates in many dimensions and also influences our behavior.

She saw every human being as a valuable part of creation.

She was also convinced that every person is unique and beautiful. This understanding of humanity shaped her therapeutic relationships.

She was realistic, however, and understood that in many people these inner riches can be deeply buried.

She did not assume that all people always act out of good intentions. But deep down, in their essence, all people are good.

Virginia Satir placed the highest priority on human relationships and on respect for oneself and others. Every person depends on relationships and cannot exist alone. She also emphasized mutual interdependence and the fact that everything we do eventually reflects back on ourselves.

Like other representatives of humanistic psychology, Virginia Satir believed that when we grow up and live in conditions that foster growth and positivity, we are fundamentally good, creative, productive, and loving.

Growth, development, and change were, for her, the essential characteristics of life itself.

Every person is born with a specific potential that makes them different from all others and therefore unique.

• Self and Self-Esteem
• Congruence
• The Communication Process
• The Five Freedoms
• Personal Goals and Core Principles

Virginia Satir’s Toolbox

• Feelings Barometer
• Tools for Maintaining Self-Esteem

Further Topics on Virginia Satir

• Concept of Triads
• Sculpture Work
• Parts Party

Literature

• Moskau, Gaby & Müller, Gerd F. (Eds.):
  Virginia Satir – Paths to Growth, Paderborn 1992 (Jungfermann Verlag)
• Andreas, Steve:
  Virginia Satir – Patterns of Her Magic, Paderborn 1994 (Jungfermann Verlag)
• Bandler, Richard; Grinder, John & Satir, Virginia:
  Conversations with Families, Munich 1987 (J. Pfeiffer Verlag)
• Satir, Virginia; Banmen, John; Gerber, Jane; Gomori, Maria:
  The Satir Model, Paderborn 1995
• Walker, Wolfgang:
  Adventures in Communication, 1996 (Klett-Cotta)
  
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