Tools for Maintaining Self-Esteem

Virginia Satir often used this set of tools during her process work or integrated them into her morning meditations.

Perhaps you’ll find some inspiration for yourself among these symbolic and empowering tools.


  1. The Invisible Medallion

    Imagine wearing a medallion around your neck — beautifully engraved on both sides. On one side it reads: “Yes. Thank you for noticing me; what you ask fits perfectly for me at this moment — and so this is my answer.” On the other side it says: “No. Thank you for noticing me; what you ask does not fit for me right now — and so this is my answer.” These two statements help you accept or decline requests appropriately, based on what truly fits for you in the moment. When you honor your genuine yes and no — and act accordingly — you stay connected to both your intuition and your groundedness.
  2. The Courage Stick

    Everyone should imagine or even create their own “courage stick” — decorated in a way that feels personal. This stick helps you use your medallion wisely and move toward your dreams. It gives strength whenever fear tempts you to cling to the familiar instead of stepping into the new.
  3. The Golden Key

    According to Virginia Satir, the golden key unlocks the treasure of your inner self — a wealth of wisdom and potential waiting to be discovered, once you grant yourself permission to explore it.
  4. The Detective Hat

    This hat, worn together with your courage stick, helps you investigate the mysteries of life. It reminds you to stay curious — to seek new information and explore before forming judgments. It encourages an attitude of learning rather than assuming.
  5. The Wisdom Box

    Your inner “wisdom box” is the source of intuition — containing the often-buried awareness of your inner resources. It holds the sense of what feels right for you and supports understanding your dreams and desires. Within it lies the quiet guidance that helps you live in alignment with yourself.