The Parts Model in NLP

In many contexts, it is useful to assume that we consist of several subpersonalities. However, these parts of ourselves do not always live in harmony with each other. Sometimes there are disagreements, and compromises have to be made. We experience ourselves as being torn between different impulses.

In NLP, there is a helpful assumption that we are made up of many subpersonalities that live together under one skin in a kind of “forced kinship.” Each part tries to achieve its own goal. The more these parts can be connected and work together in harmony, the happier a person will be. However, conflicts often arise between parts, even though each part has a positive intention.

Example:

Smoking is bad for the body, but it relaxes you, keeps your hands busy, and maintains social connections with others. Quitting smoking without addressing these other needs leaves a vacuum. To quote Mark Twain: “Giving up smoking is easy. I do it every day.” Instead of trying to quit habits through sheer willpower, we want to take an approach that appreciates even the parts behind inappropriate behaviors.

The concept of “parts” is, of course, just a model. These parts don’t literally exist, like regions of the brain. Rather, they are functional units whose purpose is to organize specific areas of our lives — for example, a “money part,” a “health part,” a “creative part,” and so on. These parts can be defined flexibly and contextually.

We can find clues to this inner division in our everyday language:

• on the one hand – on the other hand
• something inside me forces (or holds) me back
• in that moment, I wasn’t myself
• two souls dwell, alas, within my breast
• yes, but… etc.

When working with parts, the goal is to identify and appreciate the positive intention behind the part that produces the unwanted behavior, reaction, or emotion — so that reconciliation with that behavior (and the part creating it) becomes possible. After that, new ways to fulfill the same positive intention through different, more appropriate behaviors can be developed.