Metaphors

Metaphors have an incredibly significant meaning for communication and personal understanding.

Since ancient times, metaphors have been used as a means of teaching and changing perceptions, ideas, and life attitudes.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction and Function
2. Important Principles of Metaphors
3. Metaphorical Solution
4. Construction of Metaphors
5. Caution Against Misunderstandings in Metaphors
6. Exercise for Developing Metaphors
7. Symbolisms for Metaphors
8. Collection of Metaphors
9. E-Book: Metaphors – Stories that Heal the Soul

Introduction and Function

Introduction

Metaphors have an incredibly significant meaning for communication and personal understanding. Since ancient times, metaphors have been used as a means of teaching and changing perceptions, ideas, and life attitudes. Shamans, philosophers, and prophets have intuitively recognized the inherent power of metaphors and have utilized them. From Plato to Jesus, from Buddha to Don Juan to Richard Bandler, metaphors have been recognized and used as powerful influencing tools.

In metaphors, people, animals, or plants face certain difficulties or are in special situations. The metaphor tells how they solved the problem or managed the situation. Thus, we learn something, and perhaps the metaphor strikes us and conveys an idea of how we can solve our problems.

Function and Use

• The metaphor provides play material for the unconscious. The red thread of the metaphor distracts the left brain, and the message reaches directly into the unconscious; the left hemisphere has no access to it.
• The metaphor can also be effectively used in coaching, as it provides a stimulus to think about something in a new way. The current problem is translated into a different context and can then be viewed with more distance.
• The metaphor can often be immensely helpful in integration. A deadlock dissolves through a sudden insight. Even if the metaphor does nothing else but translate information for the other hemisphere of the brain.
• Participants in seminars find the content much more familiar and catchy after a metaphor has been told.
• Metaphors increase motivation and mood. They can be effectively used to put someone else into a certain emotional state.

Important Principles of Metaphors

A) Pacing and Leading

Cameron-Bandler tells the following example, where soon the current experience and the desired experience blur and thus the Pacing and Leading flow seamlessly into each other:

Problem Description Therapeutic Metaphor

This promiscuity leads her to lose her husband and her self-esteem. A woman on the path to obesity. Dot cannot resist the temptation that other men represent for her. A woman who cannot resist nutritious desserts and good food when eating out. Dot finds extramarital sex more exciting. This woman loves to eat out. Dot is dissatisfied with the sexual relationships in her marriage. This woman only pokes around in her own homemade food.
Every extramarital experience produces more guilt and brings her closer to losing her husband. Every meal eaten out produces more fat. Dot's guilt becomes so painful that she must do something about it. She cannot sleep at night, etc. The fat lady must do something about her habits. She no longer fits into her clothes. Dot never developed satisfying sexual behavior with her husband. The fat lady never learned to cook something nice for herself.

Up to this point, every element in the constructed metaphor is isomorphic (i.e., there is a one-to-one relationship in the structure) to the existing problem. The elements reflect the existing problem through their analogous form to the problem. The next step is to transition from the reflection of the problem to a solution at the behavioral level.

The desired reaction that the metaphor aims for is that Dot changes her behavior in such a way that it leads to a problem solution. Therefore, the story must ensure a behavioral change for the obese woman, who is metaphorically represented by Dot.

Dot should invest energy in creating stimulating and satisfying sexual experiences with her husband. The woman set about rearranging the kitchen. She began reading cookbooks to find suitable dishes and started experimenting with preparing healthy and digestible meals.

Dot should find the necessary satisfaction at home. Over time, faster than one would expect, she realized that there was nothing in restaurants that compared to her own home creations, and she no longer felt the need to stuff herself elsewhere, as she now found her satisfaction at home. Dot is proud of her marriage and her sexual relationship with her husband. Slim and trim, as this woman is now, the once fat woman is just as proud of her culinary skills as she is of her slim figure.

People respond to such metaphors without making an effort. Something happens, yet they often do not know exactly what.

Metaphorical Solution

B) Double Induction

Double induction is characterized by one person being told one or more metaphors simultaneously by two speakers, or suggestions or instructions being given simultaneously (also combined). One speaker uses the right ear of this person for their auditory input, and the other uses the left ear for their auditory input. The goal is to overload conscious perception in order to transport information directly into the unconscious. Each message is processed by the opposite hemisphere of the brain, leading to different experiences in the two halves of the body.

C) Nested Stories

When it comes to metaphorically depicting complex relationships or mediation steps, working with so-called "nested stories," also known as "stacked realities" or "Nested Loops," is advisable. Structurally, one uses a story into which another story is embedded ... etc. The switching or transition from one story to another occurs at a point of relative tension in the current story.

The closing of the stories is therefore like drying washed dishes. Just as one finishes the most recently started story first, one takes the last cleaned plate as the first from the stack to dry.

Construction of Metaphors

1. Define the problem:
   What is it about? Who are the relevant people? What role do they play?
   How does the main character act? How do the others react? etc...
   Create a problem description.
2. Define the goal:
   What does the person with the problem want to achieve? How do the relevant other people react to the behavior?
   Also document this problem solution in writing.
3. Select an appropriate content level:
   Look for a content level that could reflect the problem structure, e.g. heavenly realms, realm of demons, fairy tales with princes, princesses, wizards, witches and fairies, talking animals, plants and stones, mythical creatures and figures from the realm of science fiction, great personalities of history.
   Important: The content level must be interesting for the recipient of the metaphor.
4. Reflect problem and goal in the content levels:
   The story must be structurally similar to the problem. The therapeutic metaphor fundamentally contains the structure of the client's problematic situation, their relationships, and the context of the problem. Then, the structures and processes of goal achievement should be reflected in the medium of the story.
5. Design the path to the goal:
   Bring in resources and build the feeling that the client is capable of dealing with the problem. Document the path to the goal in writing.
6. Write the metaphor.
   Please leave a line free each time.
7. Ecologically check the metaphor.
   Check the ecology of the goal. Does the goal fit into a person's life context without having negative consequences for the personality structure of the individual and their social context? Useless and dangerous insights should be excluded. Check the metaphor for discomforts that can be eliminated and possible interpretations and conclusions that should not be considered.
8. Incorporate feedback instructions:
   Include ways to provoke physiological signals so that it can be recognized whether the listener is 'on board'.
9. Refine the metaphor
   
   

• Insert improvements
• Use NLP patterns for the path to the goal
• Mirroring and leading with Representational systems:
  Pacing of the main representational system,
  Leading into new representational systems to expand perception.
• Mirroring and leading from Satir categories:
  Soothers, accusers, rationalizers, distractors.

Caution Against Misunderstandings in Metaphors

"A very competent woman who worked in a social therapeutic community wanted a schizophrenic woman to spend more time in the day room so that she would come into contact with others more and spend less time in isolation. So she told her a story about a beautiful rose that bloomed in a shady, damp corner of a backyard. One day, the gardener noticed this rose, cut it, and placed it in a vase in the entrance area, where everyone passing by could see and admire it ...
The next day, the young woman cut her wrists to get attention (Just like the gardener had cut the rose)!"

You cannot completely prevent someone from finding a type of interpretation that you do not want them to make; but you can at least be careful enough to make it difficult for them to go down the wrong path. Therefore, check your metaphors for unintended meanings, ambiguities, assumptions, and possible interpretations. Of course, a good metaphor also thrives on these processes.

Phrases like 'giving up the spoon' have two meanings: a literal one and that someone dies. Every time such an expression is used, both meanings are registered.

Present metaphors

As important as the construction is the way the metaphor is ultimately presented. In this case, an optimal rapport is extremely important. In groups, pace the three main representational systems as much as possible.

Sources for metaphors

• Bandler and Grinder recommend professional journals
• Animal fables
• Fairy tales for children (Grimm's Fairy Tales, 1001 Nights, etc.)
• Sufi stories
• Bible and other religious books
• Internet collections
• Science fiction
• Historical metaphors (Hannibal, Caesar, Henry VIII, etc.)

Exercise for Developing Metaphors

The transition from one state to another can happen in many different ways:

• a flying carpet
• the main character boards a plane
• she dreams a dream
• another person appears and tells a story, etc.

Worksheet for developing metaphors

If this state were a/an ......?

Landscape

Color

Fairy tale

Idol/Hero

Vehicle

Drink

Temperature

Sound

Music

Taste

Bird

Plant

Weather

Animal

Symbolisms for Metaphors

E-Book: Metaphors – Stories that Heal the Soul

The author Stefie Rapp and publisher Stephan Landsiedel wish you much fun and joy while reading and trying out!

E-book for 0,- €

Metaphors
Stories that heal the soul

In this e-book you will learn:

• Why metaphors can heal the soul
• How to use metaphors, in individual coaching, in conflict resolution, in training contexts and in presentations, in conversations as a consultant, and in parenting
• How to construct a metaphor – step by step

Download e-book »

In this e-book you will learn,

1. Why metaphors can heal the soul
2. The truth about metaphors
3. What metaphors mean and why they are so effective
4. How to use metaphors, in
   1. individual coaching
   2. in conflict resolution
   3. in training contexts and in presentations
   4. in conversations as a consultant
   5. in parenting
5. how to construct a metaphor – step by step
6. Tips for presenting metaphors in training contexts

The author Stefie Rapp and publisher Stephan Landsiedel wish you much fun and joy while reading and trying out!

In my NLP Master training I first consciously encountered the topic of 'metaphor'. Fascinated from the very first moment, I entered into a love affair with it that continues to this day.

Why metaphor?

By diving deeper into the topic of 'metaphor', I realized how effective and helpful the use of a metaphor is, and since then I have been using metaphors daily in my professional context: in training to illustrate things, in individual coaching to find solutions in a figurative or metaphorical sense. In conflict resolution and also in employee discussions, to give the conversation partner the opportunity to discover their 'solution' or their 'truth'. I would like to share this insight with you now and provide you with tools to quickly develop effective metaphors.

The truth about metaphors

This chapter is like a visit to a garden center, where there are different seeds to buy. You can choose which type of seed you want to acquire and what fruit or flowers should grow from it. You have it in your hands whether your seed will sprout and bear fruit or whether it will be forgotten.

Meaning:

Metaphor translates to 'transferred figurative expression'. The term comes from Greek, metaphorá, and means 'to carry elsewhere' and 'transfer'.

Example:

Trust is like a beautiful porcelain cup. If it falls and breaks, it may be glued back together and it will be possible to drink from it again. But it will never be as beautiful as it once was. With this metaphor, I illustrated to my then 7-year-old son how important it is to tell the truth, because otherwise the trust between him and me 'changes'. I told him this story when I suspected that he was not entirely truthful.

Why are metaphors such an effective tool in communication with people?

• They offer people a suggestion of what the truth could be
• They provide solutions without overwhelming
• They show or illustrate to people things, structures, and situations

Every metaphor offers meaning; this creates or deepens our understanding. It tells us a story that consists of a single word or phrase. It can show us the ideas of other people. But if we do not understand the nature of metaphors, then they even think for us.

At some point in their lives, many people encounter a metaphor that deeply moves them or that will accompany them for a long time.

This metaphor moves me to this day:
‘Millions of years ago, when the earth was created, creation made the duck and placed it in a pond. The duck was fed and had to take care of nothing. Therefore, it had no responsibility. After a while, creation then made the eagle. This one had a much more exciting life. It could reach the highest peaks of the world, it soared high in the sky and enjoyed its limitless freedom. However, it had to find its own food and thus take responsibility for its own life.

Now creation made man and gave him the opportunity to choose between the boring life of a duck and the exciting life of an eagle. But then something happened. When people looked at the duck, many only wanted the advantages, but they did not want to pay the price for it. Now they looked at the eagle, and here too they only wanted to enjoy the advantages that the life of an eagle brings. But they did not want to pay the price here either. So it happened as it had to happen. Most people simply could not decide: duck or eagle? Creation made this the life task of man. Since then, two souls have dwelled in his breast: that of a duck, which only quacks and does not look beyond the edge of its own pond, and that of an eagle, which freely and majestically circles and enjoys freedom. Every person has both within them and knows both states: that of a problem-seeking duck and that of a solution-oriented eagle.’

Metaphors can be used in almost any context, here are 5 areas of application:

1. In the individual coaching the question is often helpful: 'If this state were a landscape, a plant, an animal, a fairy tale, a sound, a movement, the weather, a fruit, or a sport, what would it look like?' From the answer, further work can be done with the metaphor.
   
   Example
   
   Client: ‘This state is like a bird that has been locked in a cage.’
   Coach: ‘What would the bird in the cage need?’
   Client: „He needs more space to unfold himself.”
   Coach: „How would he get more space to unfold himself?”
   Client: „If he could leave the cage.”
   Coach: „What prevented the bird from leaving the cage until just now?”
   Client: „ .........”
2. In the conflict resolution metaphors are very often used.
   
   Example
   
   Client: „This colleague treats me like a five-year-old little boy!”
   Coach: „Through what behavior of the colleague would they recognize that they are treated as an adult?”
   Client: „ .........”
3. In the Training context and in presentations, metaphors ensure that content is better understood and retained. Participants often remember the stories even years later. Moreover, they provide entertainment, variety, and brevity.
   
   A Example about the priority in customer contact. It is often desired in the training context to remind employees that the customer is the top priority. Unfortunately, this is often underestimated both in retail customer consulting and over the phone. To illustrate this, I like to say: “In the clothing store, I often feel that I can tell by the behavior of the saleswomen: I AM PROBABLY INVISIBLE!”
4. In the Conversation as a consultant metaphors can 'illustrate' situations.
   
   A Example of a manager who often unnecessarily put himself under time pressure: “A man runs breathlessly to the dock, throws his suitcase onto the ferry three meters away, jumps after it, pulls himself on board with his last strength, and sighs with relief: ‘Just made it!’”
   
   „Not too bad,” says the sailor who has been watching him, “but why didn’t you just wait until we docked?”
5. In the Child-rearing metaphors are a very powerful tool. As the story of the porcelain cup at the beginning shows.
   
   A Example to encourage a child or a teenager to tap into their potential and overcome boundaries, this story is: „At the University of Heidelberg, students conducted a flea experiment: They placed fleas in a glass container that was open at the top. What happened was predictable: The fleas jumped around happily and out of the container. A few times, the students put the fleas back in the container, and just as quickly, they were free again. Now the students closed the glass container with a lid. The fleas naturally tried to escape the container again and repeatedly bumped their heads against the lid. After a while, the fleas settled for staying in the container. Even after removing the lid, the fleas surprisingly maintained their low jumping height, so they no longer left the container. Now the students added new fleas to the others in the glass container. The “newcomers” briefly looked around at the general jumping height and immediately adapted to it.”
   
   In one situation, metaphors are suboptimally suited, that is when there is time pressure.
   
   A metaphor in dealing with people whose focus is on numbers, data, facts is not suitable, was quickly disproven. Because these people gratefully accept a metaphor, as it provides play material for the unconscious.

The significance of metaphors – This is why metaphors work

• Metaphors have a very great significance in communication and for one's own understanding.
• Shamans, philosophers, prophets, and Jesus have intuitively recognized the inherent power of metaphors and have made use of them.
• They are used to change perceptions, ideas, and life attitudes.
• The red thread of the metaphor drives away the ratio (left hemisphere of the brain) the time, so the message can reach the unconscious directly. The ratio (left hemisphere of the brain) has no access to it.

Construction aids of metaphors

To have ideas for the construction of metaphors at hand, you will find here a small collection of topics that are often considered the subject of a problem in practice. In a brainstorming session, suitable 'transfers' were sought. If difficulties arise regarding the topic Learning a metaphor with the content “school, survival, little chicks, ...” could show a possible solution.

• Learning
  School, survival, little chicks, young animals, driving a car, PC
• Self-confidence
  foundation, building, predators, rocks
• Creativity
  nature, music, theater, drawing, colors
• Decision
  fall of the wall, dinner, economy, profession
• Motivation
  athletes, Mozart, Michelangelo, success experiences
• Conflicts
  Gandhi, fairy tales, archetypes
• Time
  seasons, clock, Einstein, growth of trees, moon, children
• Self-actualization
  butterfly, Leonardo da Vinci, the ugly duckling, flower

Constructing metaphors in 7 steps

1. Define the problem
   What is this problem about? Who are the relevant people involved in this problem? Who plays what role in it? How does the person with the problem behave?
2. Define the goal
   What does the person with problems want to achieve? How do they want to be able to behave? How do they feel when they reach their goal?
3. Choose an appropriate content level
   Look for a content level where you can reflect the problem structure. Anything is possible, depending on taste. Fairy tales, fables, science fiction, ...
4. Reflect the problem and goal in the content level
   If a story is to solve problems, it must be structurally similar to the problem. The therapeutic metaphor fundamentally contains the structure of the client's problematic situation, their relationship, and the context of the problem.
5. Design the path to the goal
   How does the hero or heroine of the story reach the goal? Consider resources that the recipient of your metaphor could also use to achieve the goal.
6. Write the metaphor
   Let your imagination run free while keeping the structure in mind.
7. Check the ecology of the metaphor
   We call a goal ecological when it fits into a person's life context without leading to negative consequences for the personality structure of the individual and their social context.

Tips for presenting metaphors in training contexts

Use body language so that the audience can see what you are saying. The difference between INNER and OUTER moments. Always step INTO the story during an important action or reaction and SHOW that moment instead of describing it. Breathe life into metaphors.

OUTER: Address the audience directly. Make eye contact with the audience. Speak in a narrative voice in the past tense.

INNER: Do not address the audience directly. Do not make eye contact with the audience. You are here and now in an imagined, envisioned reality. You speak in the present tense. Show very personal, private behavior.

The distribution of INNER and OUTER moments should be 20 to 80. INNER moments are like spice. You should not take too much of it. Imagine INNER moments as cayenne pepper. Too much is too much.

Body language, movement, and gestures

When you say:
"I bend down to pick up my bag" – bend down and pick up the imagined bag.
"I stubbed my toe on the edge of the desk" – stub your toe and feel the pain.
"I went over and opened the door" – take a few steps and pantomime opening the door.

In every context, it applies: Use your voice so that your listeners hear and feelwhat you are saying.
Use fast and slow speaking phases.

• Speaking quickly shows: stress or fear that you are at the end of your strength, disappointment or despair, impatience or haste, anger or rage.
• Speaking slowly shows: shock or disbelief, boredom or lethargy, fear or concern, controlled anger, exhaustion or fatigue, giving up or defeat.

You will see that once you start working with metaphors, you will become indispensable in your life. People will tell you how long your story has accompanied them. You have the power to decide whether this seed will grow and bear fruit or whether it will be forgotten. You decide whether it gets water and nutrients or not.

Make speaking pauses. If you want to emphasize a word particularly, take a speaking pause right after it. Then the word has time to take effect. Play with your words until you feel comfortable with them.

Stories touch. Stories heal.

Bibliography

Story Power (Vera F. Birkenbihl)
Metaphors – Learning Book (Alexa Mohl)
Duck or Eagle (Ardeschyr Hagmaier)
The Story Theater Method (Doug Stevenson)