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नहीं
РусскийLife Rules
Life rules describe which requirements must be met for something or some event to align with our values. What has to happen for us to feel a certain feeling? What has to happen for you to feel happy? Do you have to earn a million and drive a fancy car before you feel happy, or is it enough when a few rays of sunshine tickle your face? What has to happen for you to feel angry? Is waiting at a red light when you’re in a hurry enough, or does someone have to slam into your car and then flee the scene? You’ve probably noticed—these questions invite you to reflect on your life rules.
I distinguish two kinds of life rules. One kind specifies which conditions must be fulfilled for a particular feeling to arise within us; the other tells us what we must do and what we want to do.
Life Rule – Type 1:
What has to happen for you to have a specific feeling?
Life Rule – Type 2:
What do I have to do for … to happen?
What should I do so that … happens?
Now write down your own life rules by answering the following question: What are your most important life rules?
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Finding Life Rules for Your Values
- Go through your values once more and, for each value (e.g., love), ask: What has to happen for me to feel loved? Which conditions must be fulfilled for me to feel loved?
Example: I feel happy when … I feel healthy when … - Now check whether these rules activate you or hold you back. If you find a rule you can’t possibly meet because its criteria are too complex or mutually exclusive, throw that rule overboard and replace it with a new one. Do the same if circumstances you cannot control are required to fulfill the rule. Aim to create many ways to feel good—and make it relatively “expensive” and rare to feel bad.
- Complete these starter sentences:
I feel good whenever …
The more options you give yourself here, the more often you’ll feel good. - My relationship is going great when …
- I enjoy my work when …
Find out which rules are most important to you and arrange your rules in a hierarchy. - Which rules would you never break?
- In which areas of your life might strict rules bring advantages? In which areas disadvantages?
- Do you already know the difference between “I must” rules and “I should” rules?
Try to describe the differences!
My Principles for a Happier Life
You might develop an ethical code from your life rules that defines the standard for your quality of life. Large companies create guiding principles for their organization; you can do the same for your own life.
Draft your guiding principles for a new and happier life.
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