Recreate your life. Become the designer of your future. NLP is a powerful tool when it comes to changing your thinking, feelings and actions so that we can create the life we really want. This chapter lays the foundation for a life of your own imagination. In my eyes, this is what success is: "to live according to one’s own desires". That can be something different for everyone. NLP offers many starting points for reaching this goal and for enjoying the journey there with the greatest possible joy.
Self-Concept is the image, the idea we have developed of ourselves. This means, how we perceive and define ourselves. Our self-concept greatly influences our thinking, feeling, motivation and performance, learning and behavior.
"Recognize your Self, trust your Self, enjoy your Self, enrich your Self, Find The expression of your Self: Because you are the only person with whom you live your entire life." Johann Kluczny
Unfortunately, many people develop their self-concept as a result of other people's reactions and behaviors, rather than from their experiences. Many people do not even manage to regard feedback as response to their own behavior. Instead, they condemn their Self. Your Self and its attributes are valuable. The reactions of other people are only reactions to your behavior.
"The world is a reflection of our Selves. When we hate ourselves, we hate everyone else. When we like who and how we are, the rest of the world is wonderful. Our self-image is the blueprint that defines exactly how we behave, with whim we interact, what we try out and what we avoid. Every thought and every action arise from the way we see ourselves. The image we make of ourselves is colored by our experiences, by our successes and failures, the thoughts that we have about ourselves, and the way in which we interpret the reactions of others to us. If we take this image to be a fact, then we live entirely within the bounds that this one image sets. Our image therefore determines:
How much we love the world and how well we like to live in it. How much we will achieve in life." Andrew Matthews
Therefore, the goal of any type of psychotherapy is to change the image the client has of himself. Each person determines their own self-image, deciding their own value and the amount of happiness that awaits them. There is no stronger lever for changing human behavior than the self-image.
Our self-image is our identity. By identity we mean all those beliefs that define our individuality, our unique characteristics that are different from those of others. We act in accordance with our self-image, regardless of whether or not it corresponds to facts.
Five important components of Self-Concept
This gives you an experience of sensing your own quality:
"I am important."
Sensual / Sexual
This gives you a physical substance and identity with which you interact with the world:
"I like how my body feels."
This give you a feeling of importance to other people, to the world, etc.:
"I have the ability, I offer something important."
This give you the experience, that you can do anything, because you can learn:
"I can improve myself, I can enrich myself."
This gives you the experience, that you can influence your own experiences:
"I can choose the state that I want to have."
Who am I?
There are countless answers to this question. We can describe ourselves on the basis of our emotional qualities (I am affectionate), our occupation (I am a doctor), our position (I am the CEO), our financial status (I am a millionaire), the different roles we play (I am a mother of three children), our behaviors (I'm an athlete), our possessions (I'm a Porsche driver), our metaphors (I'm just a little cog in the machine), our faith (I'm a Christian), our nationality (I am German), based on achievements (I am a world record holder), based our past (I am a failure) etc.
Put yourself into a state of curiosity and relaxation and then ask yourself one of the most important questions in philosophy:
Who am I?